The Time Traveler's Wife

I don't get it. The book does not make sense to me. I'm in a loving relationship, and I have been for over four years now. I understand what it's like to get annoyed at each other, to get sad or worried about the other person. This book somehow lacks that empathy that I feel in my own relationship. They keep secrets from each other, which is important to his situation I suppose, but secrets that don't make sense to keep. Additionally, there's this strange sexualization of innocence -- in a way that personally disgusts me. Clare lying in waiting for her whole life, it just makes me feel sad. I understand that the death of your lover can be intense and can last the entirety of your life, but it feels unearned here. Clare's love for Henry started as a small puppy crush when she was -- what -- seven? As an adult, it's important to understand that young children will develop crushes on you, and it's your responsibility to deny them. It's weird that Henry denies it up until she is 18. Why not until she's in her 20s? Truly the scene disgusted me. I don't understand this love; I don't find it romantic. Personally, this book clearly isn't for me. However, on a more technical analysis of the writing style, I think Henry's character is actually very interesting. I do love his mother's death tactfully placed within the love story. It really reflects how much grieving for your parent a person actually does. As someone who is dating a person with a deceased mother, I think this book's dealings with death and tragedy is actually very interesting and well done, all things considered. That being said, the writing style is terrible. I could never tell who was talking; I would have to flip back a few pages just to find out which perspective I was reading. Personally, I worry about this in my own writing, so seeing it done poorly was a very interesting facet of this book. Henry and Clare's voices are too similar, and I constantly forget who is speaking, especially when they refer to themselves with "I." This book overall is disappointing at best and disgusting at worst. I will be giving away this book as soon as possible. If I had the courage to throw books in the trash, this would be there.

10 Things I Hate About You

I watched this movie for the first time yesterday. As a modernization of Shakesphere's The Taming of the Shrew, it was fantastic! I never read or watched that particular play, but I must compliment of the brilliance of it through seeing this movie. There's a few lines from the play that fit perfectly in this movie. The ensemble cast is perfectly paced throughout the movie, and I felt like I was able to capture the feelings of every member without it hindering the plot. Every character grew in ways that was very satisfying and I mean every character. Start to finish it was funny; it was tense; it was beautiful. I especially loved how in Seattle it was.

Don Quixote Part I and The Metamorphosis

I am currently writing on my phone -- truly the sapper of creativity especially in writing. I'm currently writing in the notes app to be transferred to the actual Neocities blog soon, but no matter. I finally finished the first part of Don Quixote. It had taken me nearly a year to do so, give or take a few months, but I did get to the half way point! I do love reading so many other books that aren't Don Quixote; a bad habit that will continue into the next part. However, as I have reflected on the first part, I realized the point of Don Quixote. As explained by a friend of mine, Cervantes was famous for disliking the crown, a deviant take for the 17th century. It occurred to me that Don Quixote is the questioning of the crown and the noble class, if it weren't obvious enough for the premise. This first part was less about Don Quixote himself and more about the people around him, which I did not appreciate until the very end. Unsurprisingly, Don Quixote and Sancho are very static characters, they take on meanings beyond plot. Don Quixote, a stand-in for the noble class, dismisses truth for a more theatrical reality. This privilege of believing whatever is written on the page is very unique to noblemen or those of high class. Myth-making even now is wide-spread, and those who believe in it nigh worship these people. Of course, there is truth to the myths, but it's hard to decipher and subjective at best. History is told by the victors, no? Additionally, advice given by those of lucky circumstance cannot give advice to those who are unlucky. Don Quixote believes these victors, myth-makers, and lucky historians, without considering the possibility of lies that intend to place a particular person in higher regard -- whether that be the story-teller or the story-teller's idol. Don Quixote ultimately does not think beyond what he is told, and that is his ultimate failing. Sancho helps mitigate this somewhat, but despite Sancho's critical eye, since he is uneducated, he is unable to disprove or disagree with Don Quixote at times. Sancho's belief in becoming a governor is a belief similar to Don Quixote's beliefs in incredible knights of eld. Sancho is only able to disprove Don Quixote because of what he sees in front of him, and since he is unread, he is unable to disprove Don Quixote's disillusions about events past. Ultimately this reflects the warped reality that lower classes are forced to simply believe without question -- especially of those who are educated, the higher class! The book presents so many different stories that the reader must decipher for themself in order to truly understand what had taken place. It ultimately encourages critical thinking of all parties and persuades the readers to find the truth through the lies. I am so excited to see what the second part has in store. From the small blurb of history within the book, the second part was a direct response to someone else's version of Don Quixote, and I am very curious how it goes. Anyway, The Metamorphosis is very good. It isn't as grotesque as I imagined it being. He is simply a big bug. As I was reading though, I always imagined him as a horrid millipede. When it states that he has many legs, I thought of the weird legs that millipedes have. I know most people see him as a large cockroach, but I suppose I have my own interpretation. Upon reflection, his military service is such a large part of his character that doesn't get touched on. However, his military service is what makes his character compelling. The saddest thing about Gregor is the fact that he cares of his job so much. As the story progresses, it makes you wonder if he only values himself through his work. I think that facet of himself is an extension of his military service. He puts so much value in his work that he seems to have no character outside of that. His family see him as a man who provided. When he suddenly becomes dependent on them, it's clear that his family see him as a burden. His slow and agonizing death is a tragedy, but not because of the horrific ordeal of becoming an insect. It's a tragedy of losing his humanity not only in himself but to the people around him. To outsiders, of course he is inhuman. However, even his sister denies his humanity by the end of the book. His humanity is never observed by the reader outside of Gregor's inner monologue. It's clear that he already perceives himself as a mere tool to provide, and when he loses his believed purpose, his humanity is lost. His considerate nature is lost. An irking desire to simply be alive is too much for his family and for himself. He rots, in the book, but it's clear that his humanity has already been rotted away years ago. We do not see his humanity in the pages of The Metamorphosis, that had been lost to Gregor back in military service. How terrifying.

KPOP Demon Hunters

Watched this movie on the suggestion of my friends for a movie night. It was fun and silly, but I don't love it. The characters are incredible, enjoyably creative designs and wonderful acting. However, I think tips the line of a musical and a regular movie clumsily. My Kpop-loving boyfriend mentioned that they would never listen to the songs outside of the movie, which I think is a pretty bit indicator that it was not good. I enjoy musicals and showtumes, and I find myself listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my own time. This movie does not have strong songs and tries to convince you they are good through minor characters. This, obviously, does not work. The animation is pretty incredible, though. I quite enjoyed the exaggeration put to screen through its 3D art style. I don't think this movie would have read as well in any other media, which is an incredible thing! It feels so at home with other 3D movies, albeit I haven't really seen any recent Disney or Pixar movies as of late. My boyfriend didn't like it too much and rated it at a 6/10 when asked, but I said 6.5/10. 7 felt a little too high, but six felt a little too low. I enjoyed the movie, it followed the hero's journey quite closely, which my boyfriend commented that it made it somewhat predictable. I think this movie reads much better as a star-crossed romance than an action movie -- which the title promotes. The demon hunter part of the movie felt almost overlooked like a forgotten spice. As in, if you forget it out of the recipe you wouldn't notice. Overall, I would suggest it for anyone who wants to experience more animated movies, since this was produced by Sony and Netflix. However, if you're looking for something with a deeper meaning, I would definitely suggest something else.

Deltarune Chapters 3 + 4 and Electric Dreams, directed by Steve Barron

I finished Deltarune Chapters 3 and 4 this past week, and I also watched Electric Dreams (1984). These two items don't have anything in common, but I'm presenting them simultaneously anyhow. My boyfriend is currently playing through the good route of Deltarune, and I -- horrifyingly -- am playing the evil route. The good route is adorable. All the characters are so wonderful! I think Susie is my favorite, while Kris is most interesting to me narratively. There's been a lot of theories surrounding Deltarune, and I'm excited to see which ones are correct and which were fun ideas. However, overall, my full opinion on the game is still being saved until it truly finishes, although it is already, in my opinion, one of the best indie games out there even in its unfinished state. I truly hope Toby Fox gets all the praise he deserves as thse chapters continue to release. It's funny; it's charming; it's serious. It discusses dark topics and also is peak comedy. I think my boyfriend describes it best when they said that it has very good highs (in terms of comedy) and incredible lows (in terms of tragedy). The evil route has been really difficult to play through, but I am a cat with a terrible habit called curiosity. I don't wish to spoil it or discuss it here, considering it involves violence and manipulation, but it does very well at portraying it in such a terrifying way. The current fan-term for the route is "The Weird Route" but I feel the game gives it a better name: "The Forbidden Route." It's mentioned once in a secret area of the third chapter, but I think it's a much better name for it. Either way, I suggest you look for yourself, just on the basis that I don't wish to spoil anything. Anyhow, Electric Dreams (1984) is pretty bad. I really liked it! I don't think it's a good movie. The characters aren't terribly complex nor is the story particularly interesting. I have yet to post about it on Letterboxd, because I'm still on the fence on what I want to say about it. In reality, however, I don't think there is much to say. Electric Dreams is a very good-hearted film where a computer AI learns how to love through its creation of music and observing his owner fall in love with his upstairs neighbor. I think the dynamic between the owner and the neighbor is overdone -- a smart dorky business man and an artsy creative musician. It's truly not that interesting of a movie, but I love the soundtrack. The soundtrack is fictionally created by the AI, and it's all inspired by love: falling in love, being in love, loving as a family member. It's very cute, but not what I expected going into it. I personally enjoy the horror topics that sentient AI can bring about, like in I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream or 2001: A Space Odyssey. Therefore, Electric Dreams to me was much more of a letdown than it was inspiring or whatever it was supposed to be. Like I said, however, it's very cute. If you ever want to watch a feel-good summer romance from the 80s, this should be your next watch.

Korean Cucumber Salad (Oi Muchim)

Just got back from the dentist (terrible), but I did have some decilious fried Pampano from the local fishmonger! With the fish, I also made Korean Cucumber Salad, also called Oi Muchim in romanized Korean. I saw videos on Tiktok a long time ago boasting how delicious it was; they said they ate multiple cucubmers at a time because it was so good. Obviously, I had to try it. I love Korean dishes, and I'm really glad I tried making this one. I used this recipe and it paired really well with the fish. I do love some vinegar with my meals. At Filipino restraunts, they always serve it along side with the usual rice and whichever meat I decided that day. My parents and brother got to try it, but I knew it would be a hit with my mom. I was sure my dad wanted nothing to do with the stuff, and my brother didn't seem to pleased with it. Me and my mom, however, absolutely love it! Vinegar is a great pair with any meat; I just wish I also had some rice, too. Either way, if you want to add to your diet some cucumbers, this is an excellent way to do so. I personally switched out the green onions with some traditional rice seasoning, and it was still very good. It's a great side dish to your next meal!
I recently rescieved some copies of play scripts for my internship, so I'll be posting about my readings throughout the week. The list is: Radio Girls, The Spitfire Grill, Thanksgiving, You Can't Take It With You, and Young Frankenstein. I'll be attempting to read one a day (we'll see how that goes), but all of them seem very interesting! I can't wait to see them on stage, if I'm able!

Alien, directed by Ridley Scott

I recently watched this movie for the very first time a few days ago. Everyone will tell you that it is an incredible movie, which always will be the case. Even though the acting and filming techniques are so different from modern day movies, it is still an incredibly written and directed film. I won't be the first to recommend this movie, surely, but I would recommend looking at it through a feminist lens. I recently saw a meme that captioned an image of Ripley with something along the lines of "I hate becoming important at work." The feminist view of the movie really does elevate its story to something I haven't seen in a movie in a while. The science fiction elements are iconic, and the specific effects are awesome. This being filmed in the 70s, the futuristic tech is wonderfully rendered. If you know of how the original Star Wars special effects were rendered, it's easy to see the same techniques be used in this movie, and it's awesome! The critism on capitalism is especially interesting, which is a wonderful cherry on top. Science fiction's main staying power is its ability to criticize modern society. Even a movie from the 70s breaks down how companies find people disposible and expendable in order to get ahead. Not to mention, the reason why they had to deal with all of that was because the company wanted a weapon! How terrifying is that?! This movie came out a few years after the vietnam war, and it obviously critiques the current world of creating weapons -- for seemingly no reason. Even now, the U.S. is constantly in war; it is the basis of why American capitalism works so well, after all. Even if we don't get to see the full scope of the universe that Alien takes place in during the runtime, every detail is a small indicator of the larger world out there. It is dramatic, thrilling, and an exceptional film. Incredible movie, cannot recommend it enough.
Hopefully I will be able to watch more movies as incredible as this one now that I have a list on Letterboxd. My next movie is Electric Dreams from 1984, which is pretty exciting. I'm still reading Don Quixote, nearly done with the first part. I'm finishing up Dredge, the video game. I did complete the main story (sans the point of no return) and the two DLCs, but there is a temptation in me to get all the achievements in the game before I truly complete it. It's really quite an incredible game; I will make a post about it once I complete it. Metaphor is currently on the backburner just because I've decided to start over. I've thought about starting over for a while now, but it wasn't until my boyfriend decided that they wouldn't watch me play it any longer that I finally did actually restart. The later part of the game frustrated me to no end, and I feel as though it is because I wasn't playing optimally or on an easy enough difficulty to begin with. Therefore, I started again; this time on easy mode and with a guide to help me build better teams. A post on that won't be out for a while; the game is over 50 hours, as is any good JRPG. The new patch 7.25 released for FF14, so I'm currently distracted by that. There probably won't be a post about that, however. Additionally, I will upload my G'raha essay soon. I did not proof read it, and I don't really wish to. However, I will upload it here for archival purposes. That's my silly update, until next time!

Russian Gothic by Aleksandr Skorobogatov

This book was an incredible read. I finished it yesterday, and it has an overpowered staying power. The book is about an alcoholic veteran who is paranoid -- and later becomes insane -- that his wife is cheating on him. The book is incredible at portraying the confusion of reality and fiction. When I was convinced a character was entirely created by the alcoholic's imagination, there was new evidence that proved me wrong. Every step of the story is fascinating and will keep you glued to the page. Truth and fiction was the main focus throughout the book, and even I could not figure it out. The story is incredibly written; the characters are fascinating, in their own right. The back of the book compares this book to Edgar Allan Poe, but I do not believe that is apt -- in that this book is beyond Edgar Allan Poe's writing. I've read quite a bit of Poe's work, as is customary to any USA-American student. I do believe that this is a wonderful gothic book; Skorobogatov says as much in the title, but this book is an incredible entry into the gothic genre. It observes the violence of misogyny -- both physically and mentally. It is an incredible look into how misogyny is a tool of manipulation, misogyny as a violence against women, and how misogyny can only be continued by violence. This book is not for the faint of heart, but I highly suggest it who are interested in the darker topics of memory loss, adultry, sexual violence, misogyny, and gore. I think it would fit wonderfully in feminist readings, simliar to how American Psycho is a feminist film. The complexity of the Vera's, the wife's, character is so fascinating. She has a very sad story in the book, upsettingly, but all characters have quite upsetting stories in this tale. Her determination really shines through the warped view Nikolai, her husband, presents us, even if he himself doesn't realize it. I will no doubt be thinking about this novel for days to come -- if not weeks! If you have the chance and aren't too squeamish, this book has an excellent story jam-packed within 120 pages, and I highly suggest it. I had to order my copy through ZIP books, where you can order Amazon books through your local library; they get to keep the copy you ordered afterwards to add to their catalogue. This author got this english translation only in 2023 (the book originally published in Russian in 1991), so it is likely that no where has it (unless your library patrons are as cool as me). However, I cannot stress how much you truly need to read it yourself to understand how incredible it is.

Current Reads and Various Life Updates

I'm currently waiting for my road trip to kick off later next month, so until then I've decided to pick up a few books. As I've mentioned before I have been reading The Time Traveler's Wife. The only reason why I was reading it was because I had to wait for Don Quixote to be available in my hometown's library. It had just gotten in, so I stopped reading The Time Traveler's Wife at the 300 pages. I read a few chapters of Don Quixote, but I totally got distracted by a different book. It's only 120 pages long, so I don't think it'll take me very long to finish it. I just updated my title image for it, and if you can guess based off that image, it is a little spooky. It's "Russian Gothic" by Aleksandr Skorobogatov; it was recommended to me by a person on TikTok (which I have recently decided to stop using as frequently), so I'm still a little skeptical to it. However, I'm about 30 pages in, and I am very intrigued. If you haven't heard of this book, it's about a man paranoid that his wife is cheating on him. It's creepy and unsettling, but that is simply perfect for me! I am really hopeful that this book will deliver on the promise of intensity it boasts in the summary blurb. After this book, however, I think I will continue reading Don Quixote nonstop until I finish it. About 600 pages remain, and I do enjoy reading that book like it's a daily news article; I can honestly see why serialized novels were so popular back in the day. After I finish Don Quixote, I will return back to The Time Traveler's Wife -- to my disgust. I, doubtfully, believe that The Time Traveler's Wife will pick up near the end, but I feel as though the story ended ages ago; part two of the book feels like an afterthought. There seems to be little plot and if there is one, I find it boring at best and disgustingly cliche at its worst. Outside of reading, I am back in my hometown and I got accepted to two internships this summer. I had two Zoom meetings this week, and it looks as though I will be writing some blog posts for Young Scholars in Writing and I will be managing the Facebook page of the Redlands Theater Festival. I'm probably going to go out of my way to find some Facebook pages for companies to get a general idea of what my posts should look like. Additionally, I plan on visiting during rehersals in order to get a vibe for the crew and cast. As for the Young Scholars in Writing, I'm currently waiting to find out which authors I've been assigned to, so until then I'll likely be focusing on the Redlands Theater Festival. I'm also waiting for my summer classes to start up, but they are not going to start until early July. For now, I'm finally finishing up Metaphor: ReFantazio, which I'm still conflicted on how I feel about it. As of the last dungeon, I believe the difficulty curve is a little much. I probably would have enjoyed the game much better if I just started with easy mode. Either way, the story and characters are very interesting to analyze, so I will likely make a post about my thoughts on the story in particular. However, I still do love the combat -- even if it is too difficult for me. The music, though, repeats too much. The music does not have that flowing uniqueness that the Persona series has, so that is still a little disappointing. Otherwise, I am happy that Atlus took a risk and tried out the Persona formula for a different setting. I really do hope if they make another Metaphor-like game, they make it better!

Severance Season 2

I just finished Severance Season 2 last night with my romantic partner. Goodness, it is probably one of the best tv shows in recent memory. The mystery is fascinating; the setting even more so! I personally love weird and striking settings, and Severance's use of its setting is incredible -- both funny and thrilling. I personally cried on the last episode of this season. Each twist was even more incredible than the last. I love every character's growth in this season from Cobel to Irving. There are so many aspects that make this show incredible. Kurtis Conner of Vine fame recently pointed out Severance's amazing use of color. The color of everything is extremely important, especially in such a sterile setting like the basement of the Lumon building. My partner and I have also discussed Seth Milchick's incredible growth as a character. His character is perhaps the most fascinating out of all the dynamic characters within the show because of his position, and I am really glad that the writers took his character the way they did. Mark's Innie is so fascinating. It's incredible to see Mark -- as two different characters -- exhibit similar traits! Dylan has an incredible arc from start to finish. The imposter syndrome of his outie to the depressing feelings that his innie has; it's all so fascinating. I think Severance's strengths outweigh almost all of its flaws. I am really glad to have watched this show, and I am really excited to see Season 3! If you love mysteries, great characters, or sci-fi settings I cannot suggest this show enough. It is so incredible; I wish I had more to say about it. Maybe I'll write an essay about it, if I have the time.

Reading Update: The Time Traveler's Wife

This book is garbage, but I can't figure out why. Obviously, I am very uncomfortable with the fact that the male love interest met the female main character when she was six-years-old and he was forty, but besides that there's something else at work here that make me go a little insane. I'm currently on page 184 out of 536, and I hate not finishing books -- something my romantic partner fails to understand; I will be finishing this book whether I like it or not. I just can't figure out the particular aspect that makes it so awful. I relate to the male character in the fact that he was a bit of a toxic ex-boyfriend to most of his ex-lovers, and the female character is a virgin until they meet (both at age twenty-somethings). The change in narrator really throws me for a loop, honestly. Dual/multiple perspectives is not necessarily a bad thing, but it always feels amatuer whenever I read it. This particular book changes perspective with a bold statement of their names and a colon symbol to express that its their inner monologue. I have been trying to descide if this is the reason I hate this book so, but I'm finding that it's just another small mistep on the author's part. If it were just that small mistep, I think I would be able to at least enjoy the book on a pure entertainment level, yet there are more misteps as I continue to read. As I've mentioned, the male love interest met the female main character when he was forty and she was six-years-old. This is already weird enough. This feels like a story about a victim of grooming more than anything else. Then, there are multiple instances in which the male character (Henry) forgets that he's not interacting with his wife, but actually a child. When the female main character (Clare) is in her teen years, Henry actively becomes attracted to her! I feel gross and disgusting every time it is mentioned. Henry mentions her feet and sitting between her legs. Then, he kisses her -- when she is seventeen! I understand that time travel is a complicated concept, and there would be some that could argue against my pedophilic read of this book. However, I have seen time travel book that has explored the idea of interacting with your significant other's childhood self without it being this weird: This Is How You Lose the Time War. It's a beautiful book that has that tangled mess of what it is like to finding your soulmate, and how it connect you deeper than just a physical or emotional bond; it feel like you have connected on a spiritual level. When I compare my love for This Is How You Lose the Time War to my hatred The Time Traveler's Wife, all I feel is disappointment. I really wanted -- and currently want to -- love this book. I love time travel nonsense (my favorite TV show as a kid was Doctor Who); it's always so fascinating to me. However, as I've come to realize with this book, maybe not everyone quite understands how to write a romance -- especially with something as complicated a concept as time travel. I will keep you readers updated as I continue (and finish) the book. I know books can have very weak beginnings and very strong endings/climaxes, so I'm hoping this particular book with redeem itself, but I am unsure.

In Praise of Shadows

I just finished In Praise of Shadows. It's a wonderful essay. It's a very interesting book and placed next to Severance is very fascinating. Obviously, Severance is western-based; albeit, Japanese modern culture (especially the work place) has been shaped around Western offices. I am unsure of exact situation of Japanese office buildings (besides what I've seen from TikTok), so I wonder if Japanese office workers would relate to my fear that office buildings give me. As for the essay itself, it is beautifully written. As the afterward mentions, it meanders to seemingly random topics, but at its core it is mourning the loss of traditional Japanese culture. I would speak to my friends about this essay jokingly as my architecture book, but I feel as though it contains much more than that. My professor did originally suggest this book for me as an architecture-based book, so I came into the essay focused on that topic. I do find Japanese architecture, especially traditional architecture, very interesting. My experience of the architecture is limited to video games, but art like video games is a reflection of the culture -- and by extension architecture. Obviously I will never have the cultural understanding of the incredible architecture, but I believe the observations within this essay really opened my eyes to what Japanese architecture is: its praise of shadows. The author's interest in shade and darkness is so opposite of my instinctual thought of good architectural design. The idea of light is strikingly deep within me. However, as seen in Severance, too much light is uncomfortable to me, yet I fear the dark. The lifeless, dark, and featureless walls of House of Leaves examines when that darkness is overbearing -- threatening, even. Severance and House of Leaves directly shows us how this imbalance of light is truly horrifying. In Praise of Shadows emphasizes the balance of darkness and light -- highlighting that gold is the perfect balance. Gold shimmers wonderfully in a dark room with little light; it brightens up the room in a literal sense. I believe I will be taking this thought into making my rooms from now on, and additionally, observe how light and dark is used in all buildings -- not just the home or the office.

Severance Season 1

I just finished watching the first season of Severance with my romantic partner. It was amazing; I was on the edge of my seat during that finale! The sets are horrifyingly beautiful that only an office space can truly capture. I have been in office spaces before. My first internship was actually at a corporate building. I only visited two of the three floors, but there's something particularly devestating about office spaces. Severance perfectly captures that unease that I feel even now in some of the stale classrooms I am in now. There is a particular hallway on campus -- on a basement floor -- that gives me the exact same feeling that the hallways of Severance give me. Barren, empty, quiet, and lifeless the hallway truly scares me. I do wonder if the lack of windows or any natural light is what gives me this feeling. I understand that many people will never experience architecture this way; there is a reason why these buildings are constructed the way they are, but I cannot deny how they shake me to my core. House of Leaves by Danielewski explores the idea of the horror of a lifeless and monsterous hallway, but it will never compare to the natural structure of an office building. All the nooks and crannies of the intentional ideal work-place environment somehow makes it lifeless. The words that describe my feelings are nonexistant. Severance, however, in its great sets truly make you feel lost in its halls. Perhaps this feeling is something all office workers grow out of, but in my young state, I still feel its full effects. The drama mixed with the horror is perfectly executed.

You Don't Even Speak Spanish!

Me and my romantic partner just watched a play titled "You Don't Even Speak Spanish!" tonight, and I've got to say: it's fine. Me and my partner (they have a theatre degree, so I trust their opinion more than my own) talked about it afterwards and came to the conclusion that it just wasn't that good. I personally didn't like the comedy aspects, but I do blame that more on the fact that I dislike this type of comedy anyway. My partner was fine with the comedy saying that it gave the impression of sit-com characters like the Simpsons. I tire of sit-com jokes very fast, and found myself rolling my eyes by the end of the two-hour long play. However, that just seems of personal preference, so I intend to not be too harsh in my review of it. The actors, direction, and the set were great. I don't really have any particular comment on it, since I'm not experienced with that, but it's not like I've never seen a play before. I think the actors were fun and energetic. I hate to be the guy that boasts about my own school (especially since that is where my partner also attended), but the CSUSB production is really quite good. I especially enjoyed the use of the projectors throughout the story. I'm not really sure how plays are written, so I'm not actually sure who to give the credit to exactly about that. However, it was a fun touch to the play overall. The writing, however, is a little displeasurable. Some of my partner's old college friends warned us beforehand -- saying something to the effect of "brace yourself." My partner, to my surprise, understood why they said that. Going into the play they warned me that it was not good. However, I am enamoured with a bad book, so I didn't think it could be that bad. My partner and I discussed the characters themselves on the car ride home, and they pointed out that they especially disliked the main characters -- Jorge and Agent Orange. I sadly have to say that I agree on their assessment. The two characters were by far the least funny and the least likeable out of the entire cast. Jorge is a bumbling fool, but still has the capacity to understand the intricacies of Chicano and Filipino oppression. Which is not to say that you can't be stupid and not understand how oppression affects you, but it is odd when your character has all the right words for it. By referring to "the system" and by just saying the word "oppression" just gives me the idea that he has at least read one book on how people are taken advantaged of, yet he is directly taken advantage of by Agent Orange. Agent Orange is terrible name, by the way. I do like the nod to the code Agent Orange being used in the Vietnam War, but it does feel a smidge off topic all things considered. Maybe I missed it, but I wish maybe the dead soldier character could have been in the Vietnam war, just so that it feels like a bigger threat. Anyhow, Jorge and Agent Orange (and even Agent Blackwater) feel as though they are apart of another play -- a much worse one. They follow a story that almost directly tells you the message it's trying to say: government bad. I agree, Chicanos have had it rough. However, it didn't feel correctly placed in this comedy-first play. Comedy can of go over some real topics and express them in a unique way, but whenever Jorge and Agent Orange would speak about how the government treats them poorly, it comes off as "soap-box" as my partner puts it. As in, they believe that it is so important that they are interrupting the show to yell it at you. The puzzle pieces of righeousness and comedy simply don't play well in this particular play. To give an example of a possible comedy with an important message: Severance. Severance is considered a black comedy by wikipedia, interlaced with an office-room drama with a sci-fi twist. The comedy of that show is perfectly interlaced with the issues that it observes: workplace abuse. In Severance, the drama comes before the comedy, and both of these genres are pointed to the endgoal of its message. With You Don't Even Speak Spanish, it feels as though I was watching two completely different plays that happened to be placed in the same block of theatre time. Its comedy perfectly encapsulates what the play is saying. However, that strong theme within the comedy is completely thrown in the garbage whenever Jorge, Agent Orange, or Agent Blackwater come onto stage. They directly say what the play is about to the audience -- making them less characters and more like mouthpieces. Of course, I agree with the entire play is saying, and I of course agree with the speeches these characters make. However, if I were an editor, I would attempt to make that message more subtext than text. I think the playwrite should write a speech for a political canidate -- or a sit-com. Either way, it is very clear that this is this playwrite's first ever written play, and I do hope he improves. All I ask though, don't write speeches in your plays.
Anyway, I'm almost finished reading In Praise of Shadows, it's very interesting! I'll be writing a review on my thoughts on it when I'm finished (20 pages away!).

Iguana Girl

I just finished reading Iguana Girl by Moto Hagio. My professor recommended me the manga after I gave my midterm presentation on The Girl from the Other Side. The inhuman characters was an important aspect the connected the two mangas, but Iguana Girl is so much more relatable than The Girl from the Other Side. Iguana Girl examines generational trauma passed down from mother to daughter. I've read a more extreme example of this in Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died, and my mother at the time was upset about me reading it -- thinking I would resent her after reading it. Of course, I do not resent my mother, but I found McCurdy's maternal pressure relatable, even if my experience wasn't as extreme. Iguana Girl has a much more mellow approach to the topic of generational trauma. The mother of the titular iguana girl saw herself within the children she birthed; one that expressed all of her flaws (the iguana) and one that expressed the ideal she wanted (a human child). Her opinions on her children affected both of them in harmful ways, more obviously in iguana girl than her sister. Most startling, however, is that her opinions on her children was a reflection of her opinion on herself. She hides who she truly is from the world -- it is revealed that she is also an iguana -- and places her ideal (being human) on a pedestal that harms the human sister. The human sister isn't able to succeed because the mother was not honest about the human sister's flaws. Flaws, in which, prevent her from succeeding in the same way her mistreated sister was able to achieve; the world punished the mistakes of the mother onto the human daughter. This generational trauma affects us all -- not just the extremity of McCurdy's reality or the visually obvious problems of Iguana Girl. It's important to heal our trauma caused by our parents and most importantly to live life beyond them.

Various Meal Update

I've been cooking quite a bit of different stuff! Right now I'm going through my fettuccine with four cheese tomato-based sauce. I do wish I got some alfredo for these noodles, but it still tastes good nonetheless; I added olives, green beans, spam, and onions to it! I did, in fact, cooked my veggies and meat in a different pan (one-pot spaghetti, my detested), and I'm so happy I did. The flavors really nicely combine together, and the pasta is not greasy at all. I've also been adding parmesan to the top, which obviously improves it a bit as well. No regrets with this recipe, besides the fact that I think I should've added more olives and green beans. I feel like I barely find any in my servings.
I've finally found the perfect ratio for milkshakes! I've only made two, and sadly I just ran out of ice cream today. However, those two milkshakes were absolutely perfect. I froze some of the leftovers of my homemade apple cider and added it to my milkshake to give it this really nice flavor. Today, I made a lemon cake flavored milkshake. It was delicious! I didn't expect the slight crumble of the cake to add such a nice texture to the milkshake. I put in two slices of my lemon cake (each barely the size of my palm), the rest of my ice cream, and added only a little bit of milk. If the ice cream was one part, I only added 1/8th part milk. I read somewhere not to add ice, which my mom always insists on doing for milkshakes, and let me tell you, never add ice to milkshakes.
Now I'm currently thinking about making a fruit-based cake using some canned fruit cocktail and some cake mix. Additionally, I think I'll be making some bread pudding out of my lemon cake, but we'll see. For context, I don't really like the lemon cake. I accidentally bought one that was sugar-free, which can be good, but for this lemon cake it's just not working for me. It was very cheap; I got it at the bargain bin at the back of my local Ralph's, so I'm not really surprised I don't like it too much. Although, I am very excited about the idea of bread pudding! The sweetness is deperately needed, and plus bread pudding is delicious.
I've also made some bake potatoes yesterday. I have already ate them all. I love baked potatoes. I bought some olives, bacon bits, and cheese just to make loaded baked potatoes, but I totally just ate the baked potatoes with just sour cream and butter. I might try to get some more potatoes from the store, but I'm not sure how that's going to pan out. Maybe I should just make loaded something else.
Going into finals week, I might not be cooking that much, so do I start reviewing my local restraunts? I've been job hunting so that eating at restraunts isn't as destructive. It hasn't been going the best. I just haven't had the time to sit down and do interviews with finals week coming up. As soon as summer break comes around though, I'm going to get a job. Wish me luck!

One Pot Spaghetti

I made one-pot spaghetti yesterday as my lunch and dinner using this recipe . I used some week-expired ground beef (bad, I know), but thankfully it hadn't gone rotten yet. If I waited any longer, I think I might have been forced to throw it out. Before even putting my ground beef into the pot though, I burned the oil. I really hope the burnt oil isn't too hard to scrub off. The process itself was very easy -- almost too easy. As I prepared the pasta and sauce, I still wasn't sure about this recipe. I'm glad it turned out so well, but sad to say, it is way too greasy for my liking. I did add some cheese to offput the grease that was stuck to the noodles, and it mostly worked. I honestly don't think I'll be using this recipe ever again. I think I'm better off just cooking the meat seperately and then adding it when I add the sauce. That is the way my dad taught it to me, and now I realize for good reason.

Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins

Oh. My. God. For anyone who's read the Hunger Games series, you must read this book. It is crazy -- in ways I can barely describe. I finished reading the last half of the book in one day -- 200 pages of the 400. I want to argue that this is the best for Collins yet. I read the Hunger Games trilogy for the first time a few years ago, and I thought it was amazing. It truly inspects America under a lens not seen by most. She is a wonderful write with tons of symbolism and aspects that one has to really look for in order to see. From start to finish, Sunrise on the Reaping is compelling, horrifying, and passionate. This book actively wants to tell you something that you cannot ignore: the horror of propaganda. To compare to a book I've also read, this series as a whole can be directly tied to 1984. Collins herself even includes a quote from 1984 at the beginning of the book. (Side tangent: I saw some guy on Tiktok say tha 1984 was written that year -- very funny. It was written in the 40s, after WWII.) Her interaction with 1984 is intense and justified. She finds a hopeful perspective in the original trilogy that is quite comforting. However, that comfort is remarkedly unseen in Sunrise on the Reaping. Starring Haymitch -- Katniss Everdeen's mentor in the original trilogy -- we see his games and the manipulation and torment he was put through, conducted by the heinous President Snow. This book requires the read of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. My boyfriend did not read Collins' other prequel, but I feel as though you must read The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes first before fully understanding the depth of horror Snow puts Haymitch through. As I've said before, the symbolism in this book is terrifyingly incredible. Me and my boyfriend are still talking about the amount of symbols that pervade the book and relate them back to the original trilogy. I saw someone on Tiktok try reading these books in chronological order in-universe. This would be a very intersting way to read it as a second or third read, but I do not suggest this as a first-time experience with the Hunger Games. These books need to be read in the order they were published, which is downright crazy to say -- even Narnia is enjoyed in in-universe chronological order. However, Collins has intention in each one of her books. I am unsure if the overall population understands that, but as a reader who takes a special interest in the themes of the Hunger Games, I beg of you please read these books in the order they were published. I am excited about the movie being released, but also I'm not getting my hopes up. I believe movie for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes was the best movie out of the all of them released so far, but it lacks that inner voice that the story requires -- at least if you take the story on a surface level. If you want the full experience of the Hunger Games, read the books in publish order. I love them, and I am excited to see whatever Collins decides to do next -- maybe I'll even go back and read some of her older works if I get bored of Don Quixote again.

Rice Pudding

Just made rice pudding this morning! I've made rice pudding before, but my friends keep making fun of me for it. I, obviously, had to try again. I forgot to look at the portions, so I eyeballed it this time around (always a bad idea). I used this recipe with some already cooked rice. I may have added too much sugar, but the sweetness really compliments the starch rice taste. I have no complaints, but who knows if my parents will like it at all. I ate the rice pudding for breakfast, which has become a small ritual for me. When I made rice pudding the first time, I would constantly eat it for breakfast. I'm not sure if it's healthy or a good idea, but it gets some carbs in me -- can't hurt to have more of that when I have to bike everywhere. It's a good jumpstart to the day! I'm still reading Sunrise on the Reaping. Without spoiling anything, I just finished the interviews, and Haymitch is about to enter the games. I'm so anxious to see what happens -- considering this is nearly halfway through the book. Also, I added a title image based on what I think the capital looks like. I'm thinking about reformatting my blog posts to include more images, maybe I'll use a table element to include an image on the left/right and the actual blog post on the side of it. Enough of my rambling, I'm just having fun with this project.

Homemade Marmalade

I'm currently catsitting at my parent's place. My cat, Creamer, is doing alright. He's almost seven years old now, but he's still very spry and he constantly escapes through any open door. Thankfully, he comes home within the hour. Overall though, he isn't that much work: feed him wet food in the morning, give him water and dry food, and clean his litter box. This does not take up my whole day, so I brought an activity for myself: orangles, lemons, and pectin! I knew my parents had the rest of the ingrediants/tools I needed like sugar, knives, jars, measuring cups, etc., so I went to my friend's house to grab the lemons I needed (while promising to give them a jar when it was ready). Today, April Fool's day 2025, I finally brought all the ingredients together. I followed this recipe and this canning tutorial. I did have to alter the recipe a little, since my oranges did not have enough natural pectin. Therefore, during the reducing process, I added a whole box of pectin (which costs 5 dollars); this perfectly fixed the lack of structure the marmalade had. I tested the mixture on a cold plate, and without the pectin the marmalade was very liquidy and not like a jam at all. Thankfully after putting the pectin in and letting it simmer for another fifteen minutes, it firmed up enough so that I could turn my cold plate upside-down and it did not flow off -- which was perfect. The canning process afterwards was very easy. The pouring was a little difficult since I wasn't using a funnel, but it's easy enough to clean up the mess (more marmalade to go on my toast). I'm currently waiting for the jars to properly seal, which means just leaving it for a day in room temperature, but I had a little extra that won't be able to fit into a jar. For that, I think I'm going to leave it in the pot and eat over the next couple of days. Additionally, with this extra marmalade, I saw on the recipe that I could add it to meat as a glaze, so I decided to try it for lunch. It was delicious. My parents left a lot of their leftovers (most of which I'm still iffy on eating), so I picked a random box and fried the steak inside. With some rice, I ate the steak with marmalade atop it, and it was good! I did not expect the sweetness to come out of the marmalade so soon, especially with the meat. Not to mention, the sweetness went great with the rice. I was licking my plate by the end of it. I highly suggest this recipe but make sure to grab a packet of pectin! As I was cooking I was reading Sunrise on the Reaping. I just started part 2 of the book, and it's really good so far. I will definitely be posting about it as soon as I'm done.

New Blog Yay!

My new blog... so shiny, so new! Eee!! I've been meaning to actually code this thing for a while now, but I've been so swamped with schoolwork. Midterms just ended this week, and now I'm close to spring break, but I have one last assignment I have to do tomorrow. Of course, I am ignoring it for now. I really wanted my website up and running so I could maybe share it with people. I'm going to be uploading some of my papers from school that I really liked from this week, but for now I'm just so happy I started this project! Even if it looks terrible, it's uniquely mine!

Essay Ideas (archived from a school project)

Recently, I've had quite a few essay ideas that I've wanted to explore, but have not had the time or energy to properly outline/write them. My first rough idea is about a video game character, G'raha Tia from Final Fantasy XIV. His character genuinely fascinates me. The main theme I wanted to observe with this character is self-sacrifice. In high school and preceding self-help college lectures, the concept of the Self-fulfilling Prophecy would always come up, and I think it pertains to this character a lot. I've currently have an article that I printed out about that very topic on my floor (where papers go when it no longer fits on my desk), and I've been trying to get myself to start reading it; however, I have not gotten the want to read it because of the taunting task of starting this essay. One day, I'll actually be able to pick it up. Anyway, the basis of this essay is how G'raha plans on sacrificing himself from the beginning of his two stories, which eliminates the idea for him that he could survive. Though, by the end of his stories, he survives through his friendship with the main character, proving that through friendship and companionship that one can escape this self-fulfilling prophecy. Anyway, this is one of the essays I do want to write that has a solid basis, which you'll see is not that common in my essay ideas. My other rough idea is an essay about architecture and the horror of it. One of my favorite books of all time is House of Leaves, a horror novel about a house that is bigger on the inside. A very quick synopsis would be that a family moves into a house in the countryside, but one day a door appears in the their living room. In this door, there are a series of dark hallways and the father of the family and a few of his friends descend into these cave-like hallways until a few of them die. It's a very good book, I cannot recommend it enough. This essay will have House of Leaves as one of the main topics, but I also want to include more recent horror games, like R.E.P.O., and Lethal Company. Both of these video games are multiplayer where you explore a series of rooms in horrifying buildings. The architecture of the buildings are so fascinating -- both in a setting of post-apocalypse. The horror of it all in relation to these familiar yet strange levels, it always brought to mind of House of Leaves. I'm not sure how to put all of this together. I think I need to find some essays on architecture and how it relates to human feeling before I fully dive into this essay. This has been in my head for a very long time. One day, I will have to write this.

Homemade Apple Cider (archived from a school project)

I recently made some homemade apple cider using this recipe. Ever since I started living at the dorm, I've been trying to cook recipes with random crap I don't usually like that my parents keep pushing onto me. Most recently: they gave me two apples (I dislike uncooked apples) and an orange (I also dislike eating this uncooked). With these ingredients, my first thought was to make apple cider! I love apple cider, and I've never attempted to cook it myself. My mom used to make her own special apple cider by buying precooked apple cider and then adding cloves into it on the stove top. I thought it couldn't be too difficult, and it wasn't! However, I did burn the apple cider. I burnt my poor saucepan. I followed the recipe, but I wasn't checking the pot often enough. I checked it about every 30 minutes, playing video games in between. Apparently, 2 hours and 30 minutes was too long! However, when I checked it at 2 hours, it was perfect. The recipe, however, calls for you to let it sit for a little while longer. My sorry soul did not realize that a little while did not mean another 30 minutes. I tried to salvage it, but the flavor was too concentrated at that point. It was way too strong, almost bitter (surprisingly), and even when I added water it was still too strong. I also should have added more cinnamon. I think I can do it again, better next time. I highly suggest this recipe with two apples and half an orange in a small sauce pan -- and add way too much cinnamon. I would check it every 15 minutes during the two hour simmering -- tasting to make sure it's going well! Anyway, I have a lot of apple, orange, and cinnamon left over from cooking this, so I'm planning on adding it to some vanilla ice cream to make a make-shift apple cider ice cream. I'll post if it works out!

Unedited Book Reviews (archived from a school project)

I recently finished two pieces of Japanese literature: Growing Up and In the Gutter by Higuchi Ichiyō. I have already turned in the book to the library, and I do not recall the translator's name; therefore, I'll do my best to refer to the content instead of my own opinions on the translator's choices. These two stories are quite wonderful. Growing Up is about a young girl growing up to be a geisha and In the Gutter is about a geisha who has fallen in love with a married man. The stories of the characters feel very realistic and poetic. The reason why I had read these novellas is because of my anime class (as I lovingly call it) because we had to watch a TV adaptation of Growing Up in class. The film in class was much different than how it was presented in the book. I think the TV adaptation was much better for my USA-American understanding of story-telling. However, the translation included In the Gutter, and I personally dislike reading collections and only reading one story from them. Therefore, I read the second story, and I'm so glad I did! Thanks to getting familiar with the story telling by Ichiyō, I was able to enjoy In the Gutter much better than the previous story. In the Gutter is very short -- twenty pages short -- but I enjoyed it start to finish. The intense conflict within the main character geisha is incredible, and not to mention, the ending is so crazy. The last piece of Japanese literature I've read before these books was Hell Screen by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa sometime last year. I think I'm finding that I quite enjoy Japanese classic literature! I've been currently reading more European classic literature as well, mainly Don Quixote. If you know anything about that book, you may know that it is very very long. I'm currently 300 out of 1000 pages in. I've been reading it since last summer. Surely, I'll finish it this year!

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